31 August 2010

Another Perfect Bank Holiday

I woke up this morning feeling flat.  Why I woke up in that mood I don't really know.  I had had a dream that was clearly stress-related but cannot remember what it was about.  It may be something to do with anxiety about my dog's terminal illness and the decision I will soon have to make.  It may just be that I hadn't slept well for the last two nights, having been away from home for the first of them or recovering from DIY in a cramped loft-space prior to the second.  It may be the result of an extended episode of boredom with work.  Whatever the cause of it, I just woke up feeling that I could not be bothered.  With anything.  Ever again.

Of course, I had to be bothered.  It was my turn to get up and walk the dog.  The slight improvement in his condition almost made dragging myself out of bed, taking him out and picking up his poo feel worthwhile but any such benefit was countered by the miserably cold and grey August weather.  Back at home, I managed to make mugs of tea for my beloved and me, and then immersed myself in one of Jeremy Clarkson's books for an hour or so.  I even managed to find amusement in some of it.  Then my beloved needed her breakfast, and the dog needed another wee.

Despite wanting to spend the day curled in a ball under my duvet, I managed to transport a car-full of garden waste to the local tip, to clean the inside of the car so that it no longer looked like a builder's pick-up truck, take the dog out for his favourite pass-time of swimming in the river, and replace the CRT monitor on my desktop computer with a space-saving LCD device.  The sun also shone for an hour or so this afternoon, and I was able to give Mr Clarkson a little more attention whilst exposing my hypothalamus to mood-enhancing rays.

I realised whilst driving home this evening with our Chinese take-away that I still felt pretty crappy - interesting how toilet analogies inform the description of low moods - a bit like after a migraine.  The dog wasn't feeling too good either, having overdone it on the river bank, and needed extra medication.  He, at least, is more settled now.

Actually, my mood must have improved or I would not have felt like writing this.  Perhaps I find some perverse pleasure in being able to inflict my misery on the entire Internet - or at least on the one or two people who persist in reading my blogs.  Had I tried to write this earlier in the day I would not have had the will to fini

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